Uzbekistan has a distinct form of gender-based violence: abuse of and control over daughters-in-law. This reflects cultural tradition where a bride – kelin – leaves her family home to move in with her husband and, often, his parents. Much of their young lives is dedicated to becoming a future kelin, a role in which they are treated as easily replaceable, although the patterns are slowly changing.

The Uzbek word ‘kelin’ originates from the Turkic verb ‘kel’, which means ‘to come’. Thus, ‘kelin’ literally translates to ‘the one who comes’ or ‘the one who is brought.’ Girls from an early age are treated as a guest and raised as a future kelin at their parental home, being taught how to do household chores and appease everyone. Most girls in Uzbekistan marry quite young, entering a traditional life filled with contempt and hardship. And in cases not too rare, the kelins pay with their lives.

Editor’s note: the following article contains mention of (extreme) violence and death that some readers may find distressing.

“She Served Us Well Only One Year”

Rasuljon Imamov, 64, opened the car door and pulled his daughter-in-law Gulmira’s head out as she was laying in the backseat unconscious, wheezing. He turned her face down, grabbed her by the hair, and drew the knife he carries in the car from the left side of her neck. “I cut her neck quickly because the knife was sharp and I separated the head from the body by breaking the bones,” he later recounted.

On that day – October 1, 2022, Rasuljon saw his kelin making dinner and asked to make it well. In response, Gulmira, a mother of two who already had been tired of her husband’s beatings and disagreements with her parents-in-law going on for years, simply said “I will try, but you will eat however it is done,” and shut the kitchen door so hard that its window cracked. Rasuljon had had enough of her. What kind of kelin would disrespect her in-laws? In his eyes, kelins were meant to be obedient, servile, and deferential at all times.

Uzbek traditions take pride in respecting elderly. Parents who raise children, particularly sons, are never left to live alone. Usually, the youngest son stays with parents, having his own family and later inheriting the house. His wife, now kelin, is expected to take care of in-laws’ needs, serving them well. Gulmira married the youngest son of the Imamovs family, Khusniddin, in 2011.

Clenching his fists, Rasuljon entered the kitchen and struck Gulmira in the throat with a single blow, causing her to collapse unconscious. Only her heavy breath filled the silence. Without hesitation, Rasuljon carried her to his car and drove to a nearby hillside, away from home. There, he decapitated her, discarding her headless body in a garbage ravine. Then he placed her severed head in a sack and placed it on juniper trees along the roadside.

“She served us well only one year,” he told the court later, recounting all the escalating conflicts between them. “From the second year she started changing.” Despite Gulmira’s father’s plea for the harshest possible punishment, Rasuljon received a sentence of just 13 years.

Violence Against Girls and Women: National Crisis

Official statistics on violence and harassment against women in Uzbekistan are limited, but the extent can be inferred from the number of issued protection orders. In 2019, Tashkent passed a law aimed at protecting women from violence and harassment, ensuring that those seeking help could receive protection orders, initially for one month. On average,  40,000 women apply for it each year, with 85 percent of cases involving close family members, highlighting domestic violence as the most prevalent form of abuse.

26% of women that participated in a recent research said they experience abuse or harassment from their husbands due to their perceived disrespect towards in-laws. Over 1.5 thousand kelins sought protection orders from their mothers-in-law in 2021 alone.

Apart from that, annually around 600 women commit suicide. During the covid-19 lockdown, as women were confined with their husbands and in-laws at home, this number surged to 900. The Ministry for Support of Mahalla and Family noted that women took their lives mostly due to conflicts with their husbands or other in-laws.

“If I die, take my body (for burial) from your grandmother’s house, not from here,” Zilola quietly told her 13-year-old son, Sardor, as she tucked him in for what she knew would be the last time. The home where she had spent the past 17 years now felt like a prison. Her in-laws wanted her gone, eager to replace her with a new, younger kelin.

She was content that in the days before, she had said her final goodbye to her daughter, Sabrina, passing down her gold jewelry as a keepsake. “Take care of your brother. I’ve never had a peaceful day here, but you live well,” she urged her 15-year-old daughter. “Don’t give your brother to your father. If something happens to me, your uncle will watch over you both,” she added, holding on to a faint glimmer of hope.

Zilola married Soyib Muftillayev, a shepherd, on a warm October day in 2006. From that point on, both Soyib and his older sister, Sabriya Muftillayeva, subjected her to ongoing verbal and physical abuse. The situation worsened when Soyib decided to marry another woman.

The Taboo of Divorce

For many women in Uzbekistan, divorce is not an option, however horrible married life is. Divorced women face significant shame and stigma, often limited to re-marrying either a divorcee or becoming a second wife. Former husbands often avoid child support and do not take part actively in children’s up-bringing.

From the point when Soyib made his mind about marrying another woman under the pretext of lack of intimacy, Zilola’s sister-in-law became even more cruel towards her. She would humiliate Zilola in front of others, beat her, and bad-mouth her to other relatives consistently. “I will marry my brother to another woman, you can’t look after him properly,” Sabriya would tell Zilola. “I will bring another woman and you will leave this house.”

Polygamy is illegal in Uzbekistan. However, hundreds of thousands keep second or even third wives without an official registration. Second wives are not protected by law, yet still, divorced women or girls who are ‘expired’ by societal standards, agree to become one.

Sabriya found a young woman for his brother and insisted Zilola leave the house at least for a few days so the new kelin could visit to see the household.

“Leave the house or not, we will bring the new kelin tomorrow,” said Soyib and his sister to Zilola humiliating and belittling her one last time in front of their relatives.

That night, after putting her son to sleep, Zilola placed a 5 kg propane gas cylinder inside the refrigerator and opened the valve, allowing gas to leak out. She couldn’t bear the thought of another woman living in her home—she’d rather destroy the house than leave it behind. As she hung herself with a wire cable, the gas leak triggered a powerful explosion, collapsing the room and burying her body in the wreckage.

Soyib and Sabriya were later found guilty of driving Zilola to suicide and were sentenced to three years in prison each.

A Life of Servitude and Control

At the core of domestic violence towards kelins lies physical labor. Kelins need to wake up early morning before everyone else and do all the chores around the house. They are only allowed to work or study if they manage everything on time and if husbands and in-laws give permission.

For that reason, many young women do not continue their studies after marriage. A recent study found that only 37.6 percent of young brides pursue further studies post-wedding. Nearly 40 percent reported that they were unable to continue their studies due to objections from their husbands (25.6 percent) or their in-laws (13.3 percent).

Read more on Novastan: Uzbekistan – when women demand to have a voice

The unemployment rate for women is double that of men, with 872,900 women unemployed compared to 459,800 men. Married women face a higher unemployment rate (56 percent) compared to their unmarried counterparts (36 percent). Another survey found that 43 percent of women do not seek employment due to household responsibilities, such as caring for children or elderly relatives, while only 7 percent of men gave the same reason. Additionally, women who are employed earn 39 percent less than men.

These factors contribute to young women’s dependence on their husbands and in-laws, often forcing them to endure abuse and harassment in silence. Even when husbands are in labor migration for months and sometimes years, women live with their in-laws, patiently serving them.

“Leave, or I’ll Kill You”

“Go back to your parents’ home, or I will kill you,” 63-year-old Gulimmet Djumanov threatened his kelin, Odila*, yet again on the morning of May 21, 2023. Odila’s husband, Anvar, was working in Russia as a labor migrant, leaving her and their two children to live with his parents. (Officially 1.8 million Uzbeks are currently working in Russia while the informal numbers could be much higher).

For years, the relationship between Odila and her in-laws had been fraught with tension. Suspecting her of infidelity, they divided the house, confining Odila and her children to one side and installing two cameras to monitor her every move.

That day, Gulimmet reportedly beat Odila again. Desperate, she called her family multiple times, pleading, “Take me from here, my mother-in-law is forcing me out.”

It was after consuming alcohol that Gulimmet reached for a white kitchen knife. His wife, Gavhar*, stood at Odila’s door, urging her to leave. Hiding the knife in his white sock, Gulimmet pushed his wife aside and entered Odila’s room. With his grandchildren, aged 9 and 11, watching in horror, he stabbed Odila in the thigh. In pain, she ran outside. Gulimmet caught her up when she collapsed in the house garden. He first stabbed her in the chest and then 6-7 more times in other parts of her body.

He threw the knife aside. Ignoring his neighbors who came out from the noise, Gulimmet headed towards his own brother’s house as he heard his wife scream “you killed (her)!”

“I only wanted to threaten her,” he pleaded in court, as he received a whopping 16 years of prison time.

Note: The names given in stories are real names provided in court documents. Names marked with an asterisk * denote those that have been made up as they are not available in the court documents.

Documents on homicide cases reviewed by local courts were collected through the research project Data4Women: Expanding the Existing Database to Tackle Femicides in Uzbekistan, supported by ECA UN Women, where the author is taking part. The author would like to extend her gratitude to the research team members Svetlana Dzardanova, Deniz Nazarova, and Gulnoza Akhmedova, as well as the team’s mentor, Savia Hasanova, for their valuable contributions. Special thanks are also due to ECA UN Women for organizing and funding the research.

This article is the author’s separate work and the findings and opinions do not necessarily reflect the official position or endorsement of ECA UN Women or other team members of the femicide project.

Written by Niginakhon Saida

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